“You are chosen”

I’ve been so excited to write this post for a while, nothing but joy praising my Father. 

During training camp I struggled knowing my place. I struggled finding comfort in the season I was currently in. My future on the race was questionable. I knew I was where I was supposed to be, but I wasn’t at peace in the season God gave me. Fear and anxiety ran through my veins like sour poison. With all the emotional and mental battles, The Lord and I‘s relationship felt anything, but intimate. He felt like a distant master. I’d never heard His spirit speak to me with clarity. During my hardest years He was completely silent, so I thought. 

Fast forward to week 3 of training camp I realized the Lord speaks to me in my dreams. I’d grown having such vivid dreams, usually remembering them in the morning, and it wasn’t until training camp my ears were opened to the voice of Lord in my sleep. It was the only place He had my full attention, and I missed it all these years. Sleeping in the woods, cut off from society really opens you up. 

Ok y’all get ready! One night during the 3rd week I was sleeping in my tent and had crawled out of my sleeping bag and put my ear to the outside of my tent. Keep in mind it’s like 3am! I hear this voice yelling outside my tent, like surround sound in my head. The booming voice was nothing like I had never heard before and was so powerful. It kept yelling, “CHOSEN!” “YOU ARE CHOSEN!” Over and over again. I was coming in out of consciousness, while this bright light kept shining in my eyes, like a flashlight. 

The next morning I woke up so tired, because I did not get good sleep and just sat up just angry, “who was yelling outside my tent and shining a flashlight in my eyes?”It took me a second to fully comprehend that one of my squad mates, in fact, was not outside my tent at 3am. 
I just smiled creepily alone in my tent in awe of what i was coming to terms with.

I HAD JUST HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD! And He told me I’m chosen! I never felt so comforted, holistically honored, and joyful in my lifetime. I had no more fear left in my body, for God chose me, and I have a future. I have a future, so who am I to fear or be anxious. I just wanted to leap and dance. When I tell you the rest of the day joy radiated off of my skin like a glow bug.
Of course the Devil was hot on my heels. He sent thoughts of doubt such as, “you just imagined that.” or “God wouldn’t choose you” I had to tell myself the truth knowing exactly what I had experienced, it was beautiful. 

The lyrics to the song “no longer slaves“- bethel music perfectly describe the overwhelming joy radiating in my soul. These words rang, and still ring with power and glory for God everytime they pass through my lungs. Fresh and pure worship. these lyrics read: